face to face

It's world cup season and no, I haven't been staying up late to watch the matches. One of my childhood ambitions (other than aspiring to be a garbage collector and postman) was to be a football player, well that was in primary one. How much cooler can it get than running on pitch with 22 other men chasing after a ball, with a massive crowd either loving or hating you? (Or standing on the back of the large garbage truck in a nice pose, and having the chance to travel the world and deliver letters, so I thought.)

Yup that was 15 years ago, when running didn't tire. Sadly, I was brought back to earth yesterday after taking my IPPT. On the bright side, I didn't collapse at the end, the army camp is near my house, managed to get a silver, and the weather was fine. On the not so bright side, I failed to realize one of my new year resolutions to attain IPPT gold, and on the least bright side, my shoes were drenched right from the start because of the downpour two days ago. Alright, next year I'll work harder for the $400.

Spent the morning yesterday with my grandma and brother at toa payoh. My grandma is cute as always. She wobbles from side to side when walking, her cheeks tempt you to squeeze them, her glasses magnifies her eyes a little, and she says unexpected and funny things most of the time. At lunch, she was recounting how she used to walk my brother and I up and down along the corridor of her HDB flat while my parents went to work. My grandma is the nicest person I've known, which makes telling her the gospel even harder. I've tried, but it wasn’t complete though. I'm also thankful that while traveling today I had a chance to talk to my brother. It felt good because we haven't had a continual, mature conversation before. For those who don't know, my brother's name is Shi Yang, 世扬, one year older than I am, and is studying law in Birmingham. Hopefully I'll be able to bring him to tuanqi and sunday service.

I got a book from the library today by Orhan Pamuk titled "The Black Book". Apparently he is a well known Turkish writer and the winner of the Nobel Prize in Literature a few years ago. Maybe other than reading Christian books, secular ones and more interestingly, by a Muslim author could do me some good. He writes "When the garden of memory begins to dry up, a man cannot but dote on its lingering rosebuds, its last remaining trees. To keep them from withering away, I water them from morning until night, and I caress them too: I remember, I remember so as not to forget." I think first it depends on one's choice; to try to forget or remember something, and second, sometimes as hard as one tries to recall, some details are simply irretraceable and as such the final "memory" may not be accurate as the original one was. I guess it's a good thing because personally for me sad memories tend to tweak into something better eventually, while happy memories, though not necessarily true to the initial one, will inevitably remain happy.

I bumped into my Chinese drama senior a few days back and she has graduated! On the one hand I'd like to quickly get over the stress of studying, but on the other hand, I'd also like to experience something new every semester. After a short chat with my senior, it occurred to me that I haven't been making the effort to meet up regularly with some "old" friends. And this has become more important since they haven't accepted Christ.

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Alas I'm done reading from Exodus to Deuteronomy. I must admit I haven't been the most consistent with bible studying, which explains why it took me nearly 5 months to complete. And it looks certain now that another new year resolution – finish OT, will not be fulfilled. But I dare say that the most gratifying thing I've accomplished so far this year is having studied these books by Moses. I was surprised that these books are not as dull as I had feared initially (other than the centre chunk of Deut), on the contrary, they are quite exciting. Among all the many things that took place under Moses' leadership, one thing that I've learnt is the character of Moses.

When I was in sec three, my teacher told us to write what we would want the inscription on our epitaphs to be when we pass away. I can't remember what I wrote, probably a phrase from a song. I suddenly remembered this incident as I read God’s evaluation on Moses when he died. Moses is described as a man who knew God face to face. He was called “the man of God” and in Chinese "神人". He also appeared with Jesus during the Transfiguration. "For no one has ever shown the mighty power or performed the awesome deeds Moses did in the sight of all Israel." (Deut 34:10-12) "Moses makes us think of Jesus Christ, for He above all persons had God constantly in view and sought always to please Him." (BSF International, The Life of Moses)

For me, the two deepest impression and touching things I had from Moses was when he prayed to see God, and when he was willing to lay down his life for the stubborn people. It feels like Moses already knew God intimately, and was not satisfied unless he could see God face to face. What a bold prayer! And although Paul said something similar like to lose his salvation for the people's sake, he knew it couldn't happen for real because of Jesus' work on the cross. But Moses didn't know about Jesus then, which makes his intercession for the people even greater.

Time to go to Malaysia :)