i don't tell lies, i sing them

I should write these down before I forget; today's sermon was like God scolding me :( Lai mushi mentioned the three criteria to be Jesus' disciple: one who knows Christ, one who imitates Christ (not Christians) and one who makes Him known. All of which I have to put in more effort.

Well I thought I had a fair knowledge of Jesus from the Gospels, but recently I find myself knowing Him less. Last Saturday while doing DISC we were told that Moses was a C, Abraham an S, and Paul a D. I think if Jesus were to take the test, He would exhibit all the DISC traits. There isn't a single description of Jesus' physical appearance in the Gospels, but I tend to prefer a good looking Jesus to a hunch back one. But why this bias? The first time I saw Jesus on film was last year when choosing the appropriate video for the youth camp. Although they were different films, all depicted Jesus as a calm, composed, somewhat robot-like person, completely unaffected by temperamental humans as He travels around. But this doesn't seem to fit the Gospels' description accurately. Philip Yancey wrote about Jesus that "Indeed, he seemed more emotional and spontaneous than the average person, not less. More passionate, not less."

With Lai mushi's sermon still fresh in my head, I got a second round of reproach at night :( Tang mushi joked about the hymn "主我愿像你", and it's funny cos it was just sung in church earlier today. "像主哪里?" he asked. It was because of this that Adam and Eve sinned, and even satan sings this line because he wants to be like God. Jesus said "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." But how? Why abide laws that are impossible to keep? I cannot fulfill the command to love my Lord my God with all my heart, soul and mind. But if I think like this, won't I be following legalism like the Pharisees? (And why do the four gospel writers only record the conflicts between Jesus and Pharisees when there were so many Jewish sects during Jesus' time?) Since I can never reach God's ideal, I guess I only can depend on God's grace, something the Pharisees didn’t know about God, and to strive for perfection. 主我愿像你? Very hard... a friend said jokingly that Christians don't tell lies, they sing lies. Haha, yup I'm guilty of that.

A statement by Dr Tong struck me "你的教会是福音派的吗？那告诉我你每天都传福音。福音派不是你的头脑同意基督徒应该传福音，而是你有去传福音。" Make Him known... I know, but I pretend not to know. Sigh. 难道我以福音为耻吗? 可是这福音本是神的大能,为要拯救世人。如果我以福音为耻,人子在父面前也以我为耻。嗨。保罗还活着时说他如果死了可以向神交账,唐牧师也很有信心地说他没有为主偷懒过。嗨~又叹气了。所以...去！

Be a disciple of Christ? Jesus said, count the cost, then follow me. 啊~好难。